As a mama, this post is really hard to write, but I like to share even the hard stuff because it ain’t all just rainbows and unicorns. When Ruby was 3, she qualified for services through the school based on her speech delay. They request testing every three years, but we have put it off the last two years because honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to another label. Plus, I’m not sure I know a single parent who gets excited for standardized testing, especially when you have a kid with special needs.
I mean, WE KNOW OUR KIDS ARE AWESOME. It’s not that. And WE KNOW THAT THE SCORES DON”T DEFINE THEM. It’s not that either. It’s seeing it on paper for the first time: INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY. And the numbers…DEAR GOD do we have to put percentages and numbers down on paper too?! I mean, is ” <0.1%” a thing? Because she scored that in one category. And that’s not the worst of it, the end result is a final number. An astonishing low number that makes my heart ache to even look at. My head knows that a number does not define her, but my heart hurts knowing how hard this educational journey is for her…and this is only the beginning.
And you know what? IT’S OK FOR ME TO BE SAD FOR A HOT SECOND. It doesn’t mean that I believe in that number or that label. It doesn’t mean that anything changes, she is still the exact same AWESOME lil’ lady she was before. And it is IS OK as a parent to grieve and think “WOW, that really sucks.” This parenting gig is so hard sometimes, but even at it’s hardest, it’s stretching my heart and making room for more of the beautiful things. And as a friend texted me this morning, “Let the mama be sad, because this is hard stuff.” ❤️
As I was reading through the testing scores though, I came across a super proud mama moment:
“Ruby did require frequent verbal reminders to remain focused and positive verbal comments to stay on task. When it became difficult for her, Ruby would smile or laugh and make comments to distract the examiner such at “fart.” 😂
That’s my girl!!! Dang I am so proud of this lil’ lady. Fart jokes will help you through life better than Algebra anywho. Keep on rockin’ it my Ruby Doobs!!
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