Yesterday I had to say words to Ruby that just made my heart ache. “They just don’t want to play with you right now, Ruby.” And before everyone gets all up in arms about this, let me say that it was two of her really good friends in the culde sac who truly do love her, they just wanted to have an “alone” playdate. And you know what? That’s perfectly acceptable. Tim and I have always said we NEVER want anyone to pity Ruby or just be her friend because she has a disability and it’s the “right thing to do.” We want her to have deep, meaningful, EQUAL friendships.

That certainly doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. I had to physically pull her crying from the neighbors yard while trying to make her understand that they just didn’t want to play with her right now, and that’s ok. I finally got her out of the yard and into the culde where she squatted down and told me to leave her alone. And as I squatted down next to her and told her that “I will never leave you alone, you will always have me in your life,” I couldn’t hold back my own tears. All the fears started creeping in of me wanting to be sure the world sees what I see in her, wanting the world to see her value and love her as I do…wanting her to find her own strength and place in this world. The fear of “is this where that gap grows too big and she gets left behind?” We both finally came inside and I held her so tight and we both ended up wiping each others tears, smiling nose to nose.

But here’s the thing- as much as this hurt us both and as much as I want to protect her from all the hurtful things in this world, I can’t expect others to treat her the same as everybody else only when it’s convenient or easy. There will always be hard life lessons to learn for EVERYBODY…and Ruby is no different. She will learn from these feelings and experiences just like we all do. I owe it to her to let her feel hard times just as much as we celebrate the heck out of the good times. Just being sure she knows how much she is incredibly loved. And you know what? Those same friends came by an hour later to see if she wanted to play and she greeted them with that big, warm Ruby hug and smile. All is good ♥️