I had a perfect pregnancy with Lovrin. Aside from it being my fourth pregnancy to term and the discomfort that brings, it was perfect. January 10th arrived, and our babe was ready to come. I didn’t know she was going to be a girl, only hoped, and certainly didn’t know what was about to hit me. It was the most beautiful home birth, she came in several hours, and I got to hold my girl in the wee hours of the morning. I held her and saw her wide nose bridge, her tiny pinky finger that curved in, and a fold of skin on the back of her neck, I turned to Seth and said, “does she have Down syndrome”?

We both scuffed it off because I remember asking the same question when our oldest girl was born. My mid-wives didn’t say anything to me, she checked out healthy, and they would be back the following day. I spent the day with my family and introducing our Lovrin to her three older siblings. My parents came and brought my moms sister who has Down syndrome. Looking back on my story there are so many things in life that were getting me ready to raise our little girl. I was very familiar with Down syndrome, growing up around my aunt a couple months out of the year and taking care of a little girl who has DS when I graduated college.

I know all the markers, I know all the hard and all the good, but I had no idea it was going to be my own flesh and blood. That sweet Sunday came and went, and I even mentioned something to my mama about some of the markers, but once again, just brushed it off. Because not me, not my girl, I’m not that mom. 

The next day, my midwives came back and I said, “This might be crazy but I have to ask, could Lovrin have Down syndrome? They both paused and I knew. I didn’t cry, I asked what we needed to do, and they reassured me that she’s healthy and perfect. Seth was downstairs wrangling the kids and when he came up to check on me, I stared at him, no emotion, but he knew something was wrong. He walked over to me and I shed my first tears. I was scared, I know how to raise a baby, but a baby with Down syndrome? He hugged me, and as he was being beckoned to get back downstairs he looked at me, gave me a high five with a huge smile on his face and said, “we got our baby with Down syndrome!” And from there, our journey began. 

Another wild part of my story is that I first heard of Ruby’s Rainbow when I was six months pregnant with Lovrin. I saw the pictures of Ruby and Nella for Down syndrome awareness month, and it was mind-blowing to me. I got so excited that people with Down syndrome have this kind of potential. I thought of Becky, the little girl I took care of, and how our world has come so far from how my aunt grew up. It gave me so much hope, but again… not for me; for Becky and her family. But my eyes were opened, it was the first time I understood the potential of people with Down syndrome.

What have I learned on this journey so far?  It’s hard. The world will tell you it’s impossible, people will say it’s the best thing that’s ever happened. It’s all the above. Its hard and seemingly impossible, it’s a lot and it’s scary. But it is the best thing that has ever happened to our family, and it will keep getting better. We will learn how to love through Lovrin’s eyes, we will learn to be patient, we will learn to love people who are different from us in big and profound ways. We have already learned that things that used to be a big deal don’t matter at all. She makes us better, and I am confident she will continue to do so. Down syndrome has stretched me and made me grow in ways I never knew I needed to, and it is breathtakingly beautiful. 

Thank you to Emily for sharing her story!! Ruby’s Rainbow has a program called the “Rockin’ Supporter” which allows supporters who raise $3,000 or more to have a scholarship awarded in their honor. Last year, Emily raised a scholarship amount during the 3/21 Pledge and got to personally award Meredith Cripe the “Lovrin Baxter Scholarship Award.”

She continues to stay in touch with Meredith and her family as a source of inspiration and friendship. We got Emily and Meredith’s mom Patty together recently and well…you can feel the love between these two! Watch this emotional and inspiring video featuring two amazing moms, one who is just getting started on the journey, and another who has a daughter in COLLEGE!!