Meet Jillian and Ryan. They exchanged wedding vows before 160 people at a nature center just outside Cincinnati and just celebrated their one year anniversary in June.
Jillian and Ryan dated 10 years before their I-do’s, meeting on a soccer field when she was 15 and he was 16. They went to Homecoming that year. Her father says, “The memory of my daughter in a gown and red lipstick will stay with me forever.”
More Homecomings followed, and proms and family vacations together. Her father, Paul Daugherty, said that his “biggest fear for Jillian — that she wouldn’t have a social life — disappeared that first night, when Ryan showed up at our front door bearing a cymbidium orchid and offering these words:
“I’m here to take your daughter to the Homecoming, sir.”
He also said that Jillian and Ryan did everything every other dating couple might do. Dinner and a movie, time together at the beach, quiet time just hanging out. “In some very valuable way, things are easier for them. Their lives are not filled with the junk that ours are. They don’t sweat the small stuff: Petty jealousies, impatience, agendas. They love each other purely. That’s all that matters to them.”
He continues with “The best thing about their wedding was the joy it created, for them and for everyone there. Because every person in attendance played some part in getting them to that moment. The next best thing was the hope it fostered. I’ve had all kinds of people tell me in the past year that Jillian and Ryan have changed their thinking, inspired them to seek the same for their kids with disabilities.”
This definitely brings my heart hope. One thing I desperately want for my own daughter is to find true love, and to be loved deeply in return. I know it won’t always be perfect, but no relationship or marriage is. Paul said something that really stuck with me:
“It’s unusual for people born with Down syndrome to get married. I’ve never understood why that is. We never thought Jillian wouldn’t get married. It took tons of work. All marriages do. It takes an ongoing effort. All marriages do. It demands love and empathy and patience. What marriage doesn’t?”
In the end don’t we all want to find love and happiness? It looks different for everyone, everywhere, because we are each unique and have our own dreams and desires…but this is the same for people with Down syndrome. I hope one day some kind, handsome fellow knocks on our door bearing a colorful bouquet of flowers and says:
“I am here to pick up your daughter, ma’am.”
To read more about Jillian’s story you can read Paul Daugherty“s book “An Uncomplicated Life-A Father’s Memoir of an Exceptional Daughter”. I promise it will leave your heart happy and inspired!! 
Leave A Comment