Volunteers make the world go round…

One of the things that I think we all worry about as parents, and it is even more so heightened when you have a child with a disability, is fitting in. I had lunch with a good friend the other day and she was saying that her niece (who happens to have Down syndrome) was invited to her first sleepover a few weeks ago. Her sister was so nervous because she wanted it to all go smoothly, she even hung around for dinner to make sure everything was OK. Upon picking her up the following morning, to which the host mom told her that her daughter was” great and they had the best time”….she got in her car and cried the entire way home. Why?  Because all you ever want is for your child to be happy and loved…to be respected…to be included.  It makes your heart hurt to think of any other outcome. So for her to know that her daughter had all of these things in that moment…was emotional. I think it is hard for a lot of us to imagine our kids going off to college, disability or not, and us not being there to “stay for dinner” to make sure everything is going OK.  The fact of the matter is though, without letting them have these experiences and reach out to the world, make mistakes, make gains, figure out their own boundaries, it is hard to gain that confidence needed for the independence we all naturally desire.

The more and more I learn about all the programs available for individuals with intellectual disabilities, I realize that at the heart of it are these amazing volunteers.  Volunteers who are dedicated to helping your loved one “fit in”. Students who, in the beginning, may be doing it for class credit, volunteer hours or experience…but in the end, find an entire new level of “fitting in” themselves.  Most of the people that volunteer end up saying it was the best decision they ever made and it enhanced their college experience and life greatly.

I want to share with you a few stories from some of the volunteer Ambassadors at the Next Steps Program at Vanderbilt University. The Next Steps students are supported throughout the week by amazing Vanderbilt students that volunteer to be lunch partners, tutors, exercise partners, and daily planners. Each student has an average of 8 students they meet with each week with a minimum of 8 hours of 1:1 time together.

Alyssa Greenstein started college in 2009 with the hopes of majoring in an area that would allow her to work with children in some wa​y. Towards the end of her first semester, just when she started realizing child psychology was not a practical option for her, she heard about Next Steps. She was interested in Education and decided she would give Next Steps a try. That following semester she became an ambassador for Next Steps and switched her major to Special Education. She quickly fell in love with the students and the program.

Alyssa says, “Some of my most favorite memories of college were times spent with Next Steps students. The students in the Next Steps program are some of the most real, honest, hard working, and loyal people I have ever met. They have taught me how to love, how to live in the moment, and how I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.”

She goes on to say, “My friend and Next Steps graduate Haley Kellar has given me countless tips on how to manage my classroom. My friend and Next Steps graduate Will McMillan has taught me self-defense through tae-kwon-do. And my friend and Next Steps graduate Steven Griener has taught me how to dance, how to follow my heart and dreams, and how to let go and enjoy life.”

Luckily, I have first-hand experience with what Alyssa is talking about. I see it played out every day having Ruby in my life. Seeing how she teaches others and brings out the best in them…in me.  I asked Ruby’s Pre-K teacher the other day, “how was Ruby’s day today?”  She said, “Great!  She has been teaching all the other kids how to say mommy and daddy in sign language, so now all the kids have been doing it.”  Well, to say my “mommy heart” melted a little wouldn’t be accurate. It melted a lot.  Just to know that she is loved, listened to, included by her friends…that her friends respect her and learn from her….well there goes my heart melting again just thinking about it!!!

Michael Peter Flom was a lead ambassador for the Next Steps Program and he had this to say about his experience:

“I can’t imagine my college career without Next Steps. Certainly, I have become more patient and a better tutor over the past year. More importantly, Next Steps serves to foster genuine and productive relationships that otherwise would never have existed. My students and I have a deep appreciation for each other and Next Steps has been a fantastic vehicle for developing friendships with other mentors with similar interests. The Next Steps community epitomizes the best of what humanity has to offer and the selfless attitude it propagates has enabled me to be a better human. I want my sustained presence in the program to be a hallmark of my Vanderbilt career and I intend to continue my involvement with Next Steps even after I graduate as an alumni ambassador.”

And this quote from him just slays me:

“I have seldom felt so appreciated in my life than during my interactions with Next Steps students.”

This is another instance where I see directly where he is coming from. When I am with Ruby…she is with me…100%. She will sense when I am having a “moment” and will literally come across the room and caress my face with her cute little square thumb and fingers, starting at the top of my forehead, softly down past my cheek, and then holding it for a minute at my chin…looking me directly in the eyes. She sees me. Every day, in the moment, she sees me.  And she loves me with her whole heart, and I with mine.

I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to all the volunteers who help make these programs so successful.  I want to say an even HUGER (is that a word?) THANK YOU to the volunteers for opening your hearts and minds to a different future. One where we are all included and we learn from the best bits and pieces of everyone…Thank you for helping individuals like my Ruby feel loved. Thank you for ensuring that they “fit in.”  And most importantly, thank you for being there for them and being their friend, loving them with your whole heart, just as they love you.

I hope you have been enjoying Ruby and Nella’s little journey to college this month so far!!  The cuteness with continue through the end of October, but I will also be sharing more “Fun Facts” to help educate us all on what these programs might look like for someone who is rockin’ that extra chromosome.

And don’t forget… the hashtag contest is going on every Friday the month of October also so snap  a photo of your loved one rockin’ that extra chromosome in collegiate gear and use the hashtags #IamCollegeBound and #RubysRainbow for a chance to be randomly chosen for a $25 gift card to Fanatics.com!!

Stay tuned and Happy Monday!!!