Here I sit, dreaming a dream for my own daughter. A dream that, even 20 short years ago, looked much different for someone with Down syndrome.  You see, I want all the things any parent wants for their child. I want her to have a life bursting at the seams with love, self-worth and independence, to have life-long friendships, find her soul-mate and fall deeply, madly in love. I want her to find meaningful employment, be valued in her workplace and for her to have a sense of pride in what she does. To live out her passions and dreams and find inspiration in her life. To live a life that matters. Because she is so totally worth it. Is that too much to ask? I think not.

 

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She is the reason I work so hard to create a brighter future for people with Down syndrome. My passion comes from the dreams I have for Ruby. I want so desperately for her to have opportunities to be all she can be, to find all the things in life that make her happy. These opportunities are changing lives, ya’ll. They are giving these individuals the confidence and skills to achieve these goals and dreams. I get the amazing opportunity to see just what an impact these post-secondary opportunities are having on our Recipients first hand…and let me tell you…it’s amazing.

Some of you may have already read about my trip to visit the Vanderbilt Next Steps Program with Kelle Hampton, but if not, you can read about it HERE. We visited Matt to see what life after graduating the program is like, how it changed his life, and then got to hang out with Jason on the Vandy Campus (that’s what the cool kids call it) and learn about what campus life is like there. Here’s a short video done by our friend Kyle, who works at Vandy (I feel so cool!) and donated his time and heart to capture our trip.

While I was in Nashville, I also had the opportunity to visit two more Recipients at Lipscomb University.  I get asked a lot what college actually looks like for someone with Down syndrome and honestly, every program, every student and the feel of every school is different. Some schools may be a better fit than others…but this is with any individual. I love showing families what different programs have to offer and what they really look like for someone attending.

With about 4,500 students, Lipscomb University is a faith-based, liberal arts institution dedicated to challenging students academically, spiritually and as global community citizens. Nick and Conner attend the IDEAL Program there, which is a 36-40 hour per week non-residential program with about 8 participants.  They take a combination of IDEAL and general Lipscomb classes, and even though they aren’t living on campus, they are very much part of campus life. They are looking to expand and add the residential piece to their program in the future, which is exciting because the main thing I hear from students it that they don’t want to leave!

The minute I stepped onto Lipscomb,  I could very much feel a big, warm hug from this campus community…and if anybody knows me, they know I love me some hugs.  I was welcomed by the Director, Mallory Whitmore, and then quickly passed off to Nick who is in his first year in the IDEAL Program. He was in a morning meeting with a mentor called the “Joshua Project”. It is a spiritual mentoring program and they meet for an hour each week to go through a spiritual curriculum (Bible story, discussion questions, etc) and talk about their spiritual journey and just about life.

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He immediately got up and started to show me around a bit and introducing me to everyone we came in contact with, “This is my friend Liz.” Needless to say… we became fast friends.

 

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First stop was his internship at the Campus Ministry, where his duties include greeting students, answering questions and giving them an inspirational quote as they leave…although I have a sneaking suspicion they probably got their inspiration just from spending a few moments with Nick…

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The pastor says that Nick always brings his smile and is an extremely hard worker…and I saw this quality in every aspect of his life.  Nick has no problems finding his way around campus independently, and even though he has had bad knees since he was 6, it didn’t stop him from maneuvering around and keeping up the entire day.  I asked his mom about how he has dealt with this growing up and she said, “Nothing really slows him down – he wants to do everything that he possibly can.  He was a special needs cheerleader for 13 years (had to quit when he went to college) and has played baseball and basketball for just as long.  He cannot run up and down the court but can shoot a mean 3 pointer.”

Someday he may need knee replacement surgery for both knees, but for now his mom says he is too active and doesn’t want to miss out on any action (the surgery would be an almost 2 year recovery time).  Mallory, the program director,  says that when he came to campus they “were given a walker/wheelchair for him to use as necessary and he’s never once used it. It’s collecting dust in our supply closet. He wanted to walk like everyone else!! And he somehow manages to always be on time even with the leg trouble.”

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Nick was a cheerleader until going to college!

Seeing what Nick has to overcome on a daily basis just to be on campus showed me so much about his character and sheer determination.  He is so proud to be there…and it made me so proud to call him “friend’.

 

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Nick carries around with him a little cheat sheet that helps him with his daily schedule, conversation prompts and reminders, and other helpful information he may need throughout the day.

 

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After leaving Nick I headed over to hang out with Conner, who is a second year student in the IDEAL Program.  He was in the gym with his workout mentor, Kelsey. I was told that “if you know Conner at all…..you know that basketball is his workout of choice.” It quickly became apparent that this wasn’t his first basketball rodeo, if you know what I mean.

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Low muscle tone?  This guy was all over the court…swishing 3 pointers, dippin’ , duckin’ and divin’ all over the place.

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Giving Kelsey a little break, he challenged me to a friendly match.  I won’t get into the details, but he whooped my butt.  I loved seeing him in his element and just hangin’ out with his friends…just what any college dude should be doing.

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I got the full campus tour and, just like his friend Nick, the pride on his face while showing me around overcame my heart with a feeling like no other.  These programs matter. This experience matters.  They matter.

And it showed as we walked through campus. Students stopping to say hello…”how was your weekend, Conner?”…”see ya in class!” They are a true part of campus life…excited about basketball and volleyball games, learning about life, out in the world reaching and hoping for something better. Reaching for those dreams of independence.

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We head to lunch which I got to share with both Nick and Conner. They were sure to introduce me to everyone, which made me feel all kinds of special. I am no stranger to that feeling though…it’s that same kind of special my own daughter puts out into the world.  Truth be told, this is my second time to write this blog post.  I spent almost an entire day yesterday pouring my heart and experience onto my laptop in hopes of sharing Conner and Nick’s story and inspiring others….only to have it accidentally erased.

My heart sank. It’s no big family secret that I have been slightly stressed, busy and consumed with our 3/21 Pledge trying to raise scholarship funds for more people like Nick and Conner…wanting to say Yes! to them all.  Wanting to make them feel special and worthy…and I simply couldn’t contain my disappointment. Tears streaming down my face, my daughter comes in and says, “Me…You…Lap.”  I quickly pick her up and hug her close as she melts into my chest, knowing just feeling her breath with mine will make me feel a little better.  She lets me cry into her and squeeze her tight for a few minutes before pulling away and, looking straight into my eyes, gently caresses her hand down the silhouette of my face. Once her sweet, soft hand reached my chin, she held it there and said, “Mommy, Happy. I love you, Mommy.” I was the most important thing in the world to her at that moment. That is just how she rolls, though. She sees me, she sees life…in the moment.  That’s the feeling I get when I have the privilege to meet and spend time with our recipients. I am important to them…and they are important to me. I feel it with my whole heart.

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After lunch we headed to their “Story of Church” class which is one of their Lipscomb courses. I could see the genuine friendships that had been forged between other students, and it was beautiful to witness. One of the greatest things in my own personal  lifetime has been having close, long-time friendships…my friends are my family. This is something I want so desperately for my own daughter, to feel that love and acceptance.  A love that is unconditional, pure and true. It is only fair because that is what she is putting out into the world.

 

One of the things I did notice as I sat with them during class was they weren’t fully engaged with the lecture. I asked the assistant director how they help them with the content to make sure they get something out of the class…I mean, just being there, on campus is already teaching them so much by building confidence and independence, but you also want them to be able to comprehend what they are learning…right?  She said they have weekly meetings with a peer mentor who reviews content and answers questions. They also meet with the professor before the semester to come up with appropriate goals, which looks different for each IDEAL Student.

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 The reality? It’s hard ya’ll.  People like Nick and Conner have overcome so much just to be on a college campus. They are breaking down stereotypes and showing people all over the world that they can. They are capable. There is no map that leads us to the perfect solution….but to see what this experience is doing for them?  It is undeniable that it is changing their future, getting them closer to their goals and dreams of independence.

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I was super excited to attend Nick’s first ever lab for one of his courses “Diversity and Ecology.” And you know how he got there?  He advocated for himself. Self –determination…it’s a quality that most of us take for granted. These opportunities are giving the Conner’s and the Nick’s of the world a voice. A voice that deserves to be heard.

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He wanted a more “hands on ” learning experience so he pushed to move from the lecture to the Lab.  We got to go outside and look at fungi on a tree…how freakin’ fun is that??  And then come back and snuggle up to a microscope and look at more fungi.

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His professor was very interactive with him, even showing him pictures of different kinds of fungi on his phone.  I have always been a ‘hands on” type learner myself, so it was very cool to know that Nick spoke up for himself and used his voice to say how he really felt about his learning style.

Guys…I wish I could wrap the feelings up that I get when I open a new application, get an update from a recipient, or actually get to spend the freakin’ day with them… and tie them into a neat little package that you can carry with you in your heart when you may be feeling lost, sad or frustrated with life. I miss these guys when I leave them because the feeling they give me is addicting.  They bring me joy, hope and so much gratitude for all that I have in my life, and push me to be the  best version of myself I can be…there are no words to even describe it. Luckily, I have my own little package of hope and inspiration at home that keeps pushing me everyday for a brighter future.  She shows me with each accomplishment, milestone and ginourmaous hug exactly what hard work, unconditional love and perseverance is all about.

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They matter. She matters.

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If you want to help more people like Conner and Nick achieve their dreams of higher education and independence, PLEASE CONSIDER TAKING THE 3/21 PLEDGE!! $21 can make a HUGE impact on the life of someone rockin’ that extra chromosome!!

Thank you and keep on dreamin’ BIG!! If you don’t dream it first… how will it ever come true?